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Shedding the Old Self: The Unlearning That Shapes Growth

 

We all carry versions of ourselves that once kept us safe. The achiever who never stopped moving. The people-pleaser who said yes to survive. The one who stayed silent because speaking felt dangerous.

At the time, these strategies worked. They helped us fit in, avoid conflict, or meet expectations. But survival patterns don’t always translate into living patterns. What once protected you may now be keeping you stuck.

Growth isn’t only about learning new skills or adopting better habits. It’s just as much about unlearning - letting go of outdated identities, beliefs, and coping mechanisms. Because what helped you survive then may not support who you are becoming now.

Unlearning feels uncomfortable because it asks us to step out of what is familiar, even when the familiar no longer serves. But what is familiar isn’t always what is true. It asks us to release the roles, rules, and practices that once defined us - and trust that we’ll still exist without them.

The challenge isn’t change - it’s loosening our grip on what we’ve already outgrown.

So the question becomes: What part of your old self are you still carrying, even though it no longer belongs in the life you’re building?

Sometimes growth is less about becoming - and more about remembering who you no longer need to be.
 

 

 

✍🏼 Written by Abigail Richard

Founder of arickard | Coach & Consultant | Author of Self-Love Blueprint & Unbreakable. Supporting leaders and changemakers to regulate their nervous system, gain clarity, and find calm - so they can lead with presence, purpose, and emotional depth.

 

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